This was the creative writing contest I participated in college...we had to end our writing with the line:And then she kissed me...
What was wrong with a platonic relationship anyways?Was it chic to have a physical relationship with a female just to prove that chauvinistic idea called manliness?
"Of course!Boy you are in Harvard now and look at you.When would you Indians come out of your conservatism??You friggin' hypocrites talk about culture and tradition,you keep your daughters and sisters locked in kitchens and when it comes to population,you are number one in the world!"
"Check your general knowledge dude.We are the second most populated country and not the first",I sueaked in utter vain,trying to hide my frustration.
"There goes the mama's boy again...lets move guys before he freaks out yet again.You are not coming for the ball tonight Bharat,are you?...oh,Iam sorry...stag entries not allowed..."
'Out of place' would fall miles short of what I felt at that moment.I felt I was living with aliens.And even after two years of survival in the place,the tempting thought just hit me again: "Bharat,just leave everything and go back to the country you belong to,the country where tradition lives on...where tradition does not hinder progress..." But then this was not the first time I had to fight such temptation.Blessed with the virtue of determination, I had lived on.
The taunts had become a part of my life.But somehow I was being overwhelmed.Overwhelmed by what people call peer pressure.
Next day again,and the day after that yet again,and the week after...I felt I was suffering with aboulia.The peer pressure was forcing me to yield;the taunts,the sarcasms ,the hootings were all playing their part...It started affecting my studies.From a respectable B grade,I merely managed to pass my exams this time around.
And the day had to come."To hell with the principles!",I said to myself....
I set out in search of a brothel.
"You mean a red light area?" ,the cab driver enquired,giving me an amused stare from top to bottom.It reminded me of the question I had failed to answer during my interview for Harvard-Your most embarrasing moment...
I looked down and nodded.The cab sped on and so did my thoughts.The turmoil had caught me like a whirlpool.But I wasnt the same person.I had faced enough."A minor wrong for a major good",I said to myself.
I was woken up by the sudden brake at the traffic signal.The red light was a harbinger of things to come.
"Which category do you want-A,B,C or D?",the man repeated in an irritated way...
"Uh-oh...C will do...",I murmured.
"Seventy five."
I placed seventy five dollars in front of the stout,bespectacled man and went in,guided by a scantily dressed female.I was shivering by then.
She left me deserted in front of a door."You have two hours from now".I was red- can't describe it;fear,anguish,anticipation,embarrasment...words dont suffice.
I knocked.Nobody answered.The door wasn't bolted.I realized that this ain't my teacher's chamber.This was a place where man came after leaving behind his principles and etiquettes.I opened the door and went in.
There stood in front of a cracked mirror a woman,barely twenty...But face wrinkled,body zonked.Fairly attractive she was.But I could'nt summon the courage.
"Where would you like to start with?",she asked in a matter of fact manner.
"What?",I stuttered.
"Is it your first time?"
"Ummm...nop...ofcourse not",I lied.
For the first time she looked up at me.She had beautiful eyes.She stared at me just like a professional murderer would look at a pickpocket.But she never smiled.
"Are you an Asian?"
"Yes",I answered.
"So its your so called friends"
I just stared at her , flabbergasted.
"Do you think you really wanna do this?"
"Ofcourse",I disguised myself in a much better way this time.
She waited for a few seconds as if waiting for me to confess but I did not budge.
"Then go ahead" and she started undressing.
My hearbeat grew fast,faster...Twenty one years it had been.I had upheld the integrity of my nation,my family,my values.And all this was about to be destroyed in a matter of few seconds.
"No stop!",I unconsciously yelled.
"I dont want to do this",I confessed.I looked down, absolutely down.This certainly was it-the most embarrasing moment.
"What is your name?",she asked.
"Bharat"
"Bharat listen to me carefully.You belong to a country they used to call the golden bird,the country which gave birth to great people.Yudhisthira,wasnt he,the eldest of the Pandavas.Iam sure you know about your epics.You should be proud of your culture,your principles.You dont change the meaning of right or wrong simply because other people tell you to do so.This isnt a place like your nation-where families are closely knit throughout their lives.This isnt the place where females are worshipped.This isnt the place where marriages are holy.Remember what you stand for,why your parents sent you to this place,think about their hopes and aspirations.Even Iam a female before Iam a prostitute."
"What is your name",I asked.
"Gita"
In the deafening silence,I stood their absolutely still.
And then she kissed me...
Monday, February 19, 2007
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